A Pile of Red Pandas At Prospect Park Zoo in Brooklyn

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I haven’t been on my bike since last Saturday when I got a call from my little sister. She told me my dad was out for a walk with my aunt in Los Angeles, and he’d been hit by a truck while crossing in a crosswalk. He’d didn’t make it.

The driver says his window was fogged with morning dew, and maybe steam from his cup of tea, and he didn’t see my dad. Since then I’ve walked and airplaned and ridden in cars and taken subways. And soon I’ll be back on my bike, figuring out how to ride again through the fear, because what else can I do. I’m scared of cars, yes, but also what it will feel like to do the thing my dad and I both so loved doing. It was the way we connected with each other, and now he’s gone. My heart is in pieces. I spent much of today staring at these red pandas playing at the zoo, thankful for the few minutes they let me see them and smile, a short distraction from the dark edges of grief and anger that are my whole world right now. Please, drivers, pay attention. And yes, dear bicycle, I’ll be back for you on Monday.

5 thoughts on “A Pile of Red Pandas At Prospect Park Zoo in Brooklyn

  1. I’m very sorry to hear about your Dad Kate. Sending warm thoughts to your family and I hope that the bike can always serve as a reminder of the special time that you and your Dad shared together.

    -Marissa

  2. I am crying with you Kate.  Don’t forget to look around to see how many people truly love you, warts and all, and believe there will be sunshine after the rain.  I thought my world had ended too when my daughter died but it didn’t and neither did I.  Just know it will take time so take care, use your normal caution and your OUTSIDE VOICE.  Love your sweetie and your kitties.  It will be ok again.  🙂

    From: What I Saw Riding My Bike Around Today To: babyyellowcherries@yahoo.com Sent: Friday, December 25, 2015 10:09 PM Subject: [New post] A Pile of Red Pandas At Prospect Park Zoo in Brooklyn #yiv0997734303 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv0997734303 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv0997734303 a.yiv0997734303primaryactionlink:link, #yiv0997734303 a.yiv0997734303primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv0997734303 a.yiv0997734303primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv0997734303 a.yiv0997734303primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv0997734303 WordPress.com | Kate posted: “I haven’t been on my bike since last Saturday when I got a call from my little sister. She told me my dad was out for a walk with my aunt in Los Angeles, and he’d been hit by a truck while crossing in a crosswalk. He’d didn’t make it. The driver says ” | |

  3. So sorry about your loss of your father. Tough to take, no matter what the circumstances. Your writing gives us all pleasure, solace and comfort, and now it’s time for your readers to provide same to you. Best wishes…..

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